It is a new season of television on American networks. Honestly, it is a yearly period of time I could give two shits about, but something new has been brought to my attention that has gotten me thinking.

Now, don’t mistake me. The show in question is utter fucking trash. V, as the title simply stands, is a science fiction drama about an alien race that comes to Earth purportedly in peace but in reality has dire intentions for mankind.

It has been talked about nigh-everywhere online at this point about the absolutely obvious parallels between the “evil aliens” and the presidency of Barack Obama. The aliens call spreading their message “spreading hope and change” calling upon the most recognized words of Obama’s campaign. By the end of the episode, the aliens have revealed they have advanced medical technology, and they plan to install “healing centers” in every city in the world, for free. Essentially, they want to offer Universal Healthcare. A group of conspiracy theorists who are “in the know” about the aliens, reveal that they plan to use this plan for healing everyone to take over the world.

I am dead serious. If this show doesn’t come off as some neo-con’s wet dream, I don’t know what does.

Now, leaving politics aside in relation to this show (which is difficult, considering television media’s response to Bush’s policies was to create 24, a show about how tearing the Constitution and Geneva Conventions to shreds was the best possible thing in the world.), I want to focus on the subject of conspiracy theorists and their role in non-linear history.

One of the biggest points we have to make about history’s essential non-linearity is that the future is completely unpredictable. This seems like a very basic idea, but it also often seems lost on many who would essentially agree.

“The future is unpredictable.”
“Yes, that is true.”
“However, you are absolutely sure that within 10 months the Bilderberg group is going to use financial powerhouses such as Goldman Sach’s to overthrow our government and institute a New World Order.”
“Well yeah! Don’t you see the writing on the wall etc etc etc…”

Why, especially in Western society, do we often perceive history as this ultimate endpoint that is being worked towards. That some event or cataclysm will be the solution and things will be okay and we won’t have to worry about the future anymore.

Where does this, shall we say, perseverance for the future come from? In political campaigns like Obama’s we see it. Selling the idea of working together for a “brighter future.” To what end? How does staying ahead technologically secure the future? Does the future of the planet change because we are the most powerful nation?

The answer is, of course: No.

So, where does conspiracy theory fit into all of this?

Well, I find conspiracy theorists very interesting because they are almost like self-negating prophecies. The fact that a conspiracy theory exists is a testament to individual thought. Billions of people all with individual thought will not be easily subjugated by an extremely small group of people. So, through conspiracy theory, we have a group of people who are convinced there are plots by shadowy forces to take over the world. However, by simply expressing such a theory, they are showing that such plots will have little luck in the real world because people already suspect such a thing from the outset and will have nothing to do with it. If such tactics were attempted to be used, such massive amounts of rioting would occur as to destabilize most of the civilized world. Prophecy negated.

This isn’t to say I don’t think there are people who are playing with power. As we know from Nietzsche and Foucault, power relations are some of the most basic tenets of human social interaction. On some level, we all seek to exert power over one another, in whatever capacity we have the ability to.

So, there are definitely groups who want to abuse their status and power.

The funny thing is, you can’t really call most of them conspiracies.

Consider Dick Cheney. Straight up evil motherfucker. He was heavily involved with PNAC (Project for the New American Century), which had no problem stating that they believed the best course of action in the modern world was for America to start World War 3 and take over the rest of the civilized world in one fell swoop.

Consider a recent memo from Citi that leaked online. In it, Citi theorists discussed how soon there is going to be much more plutocracy in the world. The world is quickly moving towards more plutocracy than ever, they described, and went on to describe how to survive financially in a heavily plutocratic world. They clearly defined practices to profit from plutocracy.

Consider something much older: from the bowels of the McCarthy hearings of the 1950’s, during investigations of the likes of the Ford Institute and the Carnegie Foundation, we learn that as early as 1910, such private educational institutions planned to move the country towards more socialism sympathetic policies by influencing the education system.

This isn’t conspiracy theory because we are being told exactly what they plan to do. How is that conspiracy? That is just plain being honest. The people involved also think its in the best interests of the people they hold interest in, so they think its not inherently evil.

Not only that, but in reference to the socialist ideals of groups like the Carnegie Foundation, when a new head of the foundation is chosen, most of the original ideology of such a foundation can (and definitely was) lost. Much of what was found in reference to their socialist agenda was minutes of meetings from 40 years before the investigative trial. Most of the staff of the foundations at that time were young, eager, and had no knowledge of such plans. As such, they let congressional investigators search the minutes of early foundation meetings without worry, because they had no idea whether or not such things existed in the minutes themselves.

Ah, 1910, a great year for socialism in America.

2009, and evil aliens are offering socialized medicine.

Somehow, I don’t think the “conspiracy” really panned out.

So not only do we have “conspiracies” with the inability to come to fruition over time (and an example of one that has proven that the exact opposite of what was planned has occurred), we also have the fact that these activities are far from conspiratorial because they are simply not hidden.

The super villains behind such machinations are much like a James Bond villain, divulging every juicy detail of their master plan to take over the world to our hero, Mr. Bond, right at the pinnacle of the film. Bond uses his savvy and know-how to destroy the plan.

However, in reality, the absolute menacing size of the population of the world makes it nearly impossible to pull off any such power grab, no heroes needed.

—

Quickly, back to Obama. I can almost see our villain now…

“Do you expect me to talk?”
“No Mr. Beck, I expect you to have socialized medicine pay for your Appendicitis treatment!”

“Beck. Glenn Beck. Martini, no salt. I salt it with my tears.”