biz-marquis de sade, the

• A philosophical layman who has spent far too much time designing and coding this website for the simple design put forth, he spends his time split between reading, watching cartoons, playing video games, and bitching on the internet. He currently resides in his hometown of Yakima, Washington, and is a bit depressed about living up to the stereotype of “I got a liberal arts degree and look at how unsuccessful I am!”

Clavicus Vile

• Some kind of genius who is double majoring in chemistry and biology while spending his spare time discussing the philosophy of science. At the tender age of 18, he is closing in on his Bachelors at a university inexplicably in Mississippi. Upon graduation, he plans to go to graduate school in Oregon. He can also shred on guitar.

satyr-masoch

• A mind never opposed to openly mocking those he sees as subordinate or foolish, he has to hold back his vicious tones for his day job as a teacher at an unspecified online university. Terminally under the influence, he reads incessantly and listens to better music than you. From time to time, he probably needs a new roommate.

Lucas

• A vagrant. He lives an Econoline van. Sometimes he is near a computer.